Clothes and the Purge
Clothes have always been important to me. As a child, I can vaguely recall being mad as a friend (Danielle Finck, wherefore art thou?!) was wearing a dress to a recital (Karen’s Dance Studio? Or that’s what we were in?), and I had on kid jeans and a shirt - I felt frumpy and uncute. I’m certain her mom, Deb (married to a man named Jim because of course those are their names) comforted me and said I looked “beautiful”. I was not beyond Kindergarten age.
It’s not a foreign concept that clothes are like armor, an uniform, a cape of confidence. I’ve always been overweight and clothes helped me feel better about myself. And, honestly, I use clothes and fit as a gauge for how I wish to look in the clothes, i.e. who cares about the damn scale, my gravitational pull towards the Earth - but do I look good?????
I’m not too label conscious - I just want to look good. My days working retail in a dress shoppe informed me of the power of a good fit. I cringe at celebrities on red carpets with ill fitting clothes or unhemmed pants, like, ma’am, even if you’re not keeping the clothes, get some safety pins! Much of your job is looking good! What in the what?!?
There’s a phrase, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” and I’m over that kind of thinking, if only because why are you leaving the situation you’re already in? What happened to being in the present? Don’t be confused, for I’m all in favor of thinking ahead and moving forward, but I work on my house because I live here now, not because I’m selling it any time soon. Yes, conceptually, we’ll eventually sell, someday one day. So same thing with that phrase re: clothes - where are you going? Why does everything surround work? How about dressing to fit your mood and feel good? I much prefer, “Dress how you wish to be addressed.” which is super classist upon re-read, but this post is not designed to solve capitalism (today). I want to dress good to feel good to do good. I’m thrilled jeans/denim have been more widely accepted in business spaces, at least where I live. I love me some fishnet tights (black #sexy and skin-color), but also grateful those “silk stockings” rules have laxed in all offices.
Lately, as I’ve grown and changed, my body grows and changes depending how consistent I am on good cardio workouts weeeeeeee, I still have lots of clothes that I don’t wear, but do fit, and that is due to my nostalgia and sentimentality. I’ve kept some of these clothes simply because I’ve kept them for so long at this point. My spouse has inspired me to consistently thin out and purge the wardrobe. I mean, we all sweat, things get worn out, and if I’m not spending too much on individual clothing items in the first place, who cares? ….obviously I do. It’s a sick attachment I have, I’ll admit. Just…..where I bought the item, or where and when I’ve worn it. Good memories are linked to these clothes. Like I’ve always said, “You don’t find lucky underwear, lucky underwear finds you.” (I don’t have any issues discarding undies heyyyyyyyyyy.)
So, this is what I do to get rid of clothes - I’ll grab the items I’m thinking of purging, and leave them in a pile on the floor. If I don’t reach for them or go through them, then I’ll pitch them. I am aware that “donating” clothes is layered and there’s different kinds - actual donation, spots that “recycle” your clothes to stuff pillows (what????), etc. I mean, in some instances, we’re just giving another entity what’s essentially trash for them to sort and finally pitch on the Universe’s behalf. That doesn’t feel too great when posed that way. Still, the Pile of Sad is a move that works for me. Plus, so what if I keep a few dresses that make me happy to see in my closet? “God, I was hot”, I whisper as I eat another Girl Scout Cookie. End of the day, I’m by no means hoarding!
Also, though, with my disordered eating and weight fluctuations over the years (anyone else feel like they lose and gain the same 15 pounds over and over?), I used to keep clothes around for the weight changes, but learned to let that practice go. It’s not a healthy mentality, moreover I’m blessed enough to be able to buy some new damn clothes when the need arises.
I’ll always love clothes, always love feeling put together, even if it’s jammy jams at home. I’m mainly writing this today as motivation to pitch a few more items in the closet/dressers. I need to remember that it’s me who has feelings, not the clothes!!
