Nostalgia Train - September 11, 2001

Nostalgia should be a warm, fuzzy feeling, right?? This day wasn’t. But, there’s something about anniversaries and the multiples of 5, and now that we’re at 20 g.d. years after this day, here’s my journal entry from that time, albeit written 1 week later.

Every year since, I grow more incensed by the revelry, but I’m also a grouch and it just wasn’t a great day or time.

Nonetheless, let’s let lil baby 17 y.o. Jac tell her story.

This was probably written with a Pilot Precise pen. My handwriting was honestly better in high school than now.

September 18, 2001

One week ago today, the World Trade Center in NYC + the Pentagon were both hit by hijacked commercial planes. The WTC had collapsed that day, September 11, 2001. There is almost no point in writing this down, because its [sic] certainly not something that I am going to forget ever.

I walked out of math that Tuesday morning. It was 9:11 a.m. I turned the corner to the lounge and a large group of students had gathered under the TV, and I read the caption: two planes have hit the World Trade Center. My first thought was two? One for each, that is odd. Being that it was passing time, more and more people were coming to the lounch and aksing what had happened. Then Meghan came up to me and said, “Jennie just ran away crying,” and I answered, “Oh my God, her father works there.” So I threw my binder and ran toward the main office, which she wasn’t in. So I ran outside along the strip looking for her car. Then behind me I saw her and Brittany coming from Brit’s car and I just held up my arms like “What?” and she got closer and was calm but then she said I can’t get a hold of him and started to cry, and we hugged and I cried too. It was so scary. We didn’t even know at that point that it was a terrorist attack… I thought it was the most ironic coincidence that the two planes hit the WTC.

So Jennie, Brit, and I ran inside so she could call her dad’s office and home. No one picked up at the office, obviously, and Katie [J’s stepmom] didn’t even know when Jen called her cell. Jen + Brit went to get Charlie [J’s brother] and I took Jennie’s keys so I could drive her car home.

So as I was about to get in the car, Meghan and Pam came running from the lounge and asked me what the deal was. I was calm, but then I really started to freak out, so they both hugged me and P drove to J’s. I was glad that Katie + Jennie + Charlie were all together. But I remained upset for a little while. Midday, I found out Mr. T was fine. After school, I went to 5:30 mass at St. A’s. I started to cry again when “Ave Maria” was being sung.

After church at St. Mark’s we went to the Coppo’s, b/c they hadn’t heard from their dad yet. So that was just rnadom, though I was very happy that I stopped by. Matt needed support and I’m sure he felt it just by us being there. As soon as I stepped outside the Carter’s I started to cry again.

Tom and I had already talked to Mr. Field about a possible assembly and such… I knew I was going to have to speak, so when I got home that night, I wrote the whole thing. Wasn’t very long, but I wrote it and didn’t change a word between then + Friday. Mr. Field said “tomorrow is going to be worse than today” and he was right…

That morning (Wed.) I went to school early to help set up something, and Mr. Field told me and Scott that Mr. Coppo was located and in a hospital. So we were pumped, and I went to Spanish and told Jen + Brit. But after class, I walked into the lounge and saw the look on Jeff’s face and knew that it wasn’t true. I turned to SS, and he just shook his head and said, “sign Matt’s birthday card.” I started to breathe heavy and ran over to Jen + Brit and told them that it wasn’t true, and I started to cry as I was telling them. It just hurt so bad to have to face reality. It was Matt’s fucking birthday… I just didn’t want to believe it. I oculdn’t stop crying. I just related to Matt’s pain. I know how it feels - too much so. I went over to the table where the card was. I didn’t care if they saw me crying anymore. Pete rubbed my back and told me it would be OK. I signed the card, and Jeff was beside me with tears in his eyes. We hugged for the longest time while I just cried. He was too, but certainly not as loud and openly as I. I was already late for class, so I had to go, though I knew I wasn’t going to go. As I went up the ramp, I saw Tommy, and he said to not go to class, to just stay and calm down. I didn’t, and I felt better. To cry and just be with people mae me feel so much better. We were all suffering, mourning together.

That Thursday was not so bad. I can’t really remember it now, but I remember that night. The Congregational Church had a service. Just praying together and being together was the point of it. It was afterwards when we all walked outside with candles and sang together. Alyssa ran over to me right after, and we both just hugged and cried. That continued for about 20 minutes, until I was I have to get out of here [sic]. I just could not believe what was going on. I was nervous about speaking the next day and just sad about what had happened and afraid of what might happen in the future. I went to the Coppo’s that night for a few hours. It was fun but just strange.

I didn’t do any work that week. It annoyed me how after one day, the teachers were like its [sic] time to move on…keep going forward. It bothered me that they were doing that. I mean, give us one week/weekend to gather ourselves back together.

So that night (Thus.) I was unable to sleep, so I sat on the computer and wrote an email to about 80 people telling them how I valued all of them, etc. I felt so good after writing that. I hope they enjoyed it and took what I said to heart.

I love how earnest I was, though I feel so silly about it now. And that’s because I don’t think America learned anything from that terrible day. Buttttt this is already sad enough, so let’s not get in to that right now.

I’d love to have that email now or a copy of that speech I made. Too many computer crashes and obsolete email accounts since then.

I also remember borrowing a classmate’s cell phone to call my mom at work. I hadn’t talked to her yet. It was towards the end of the day on 9/11. I got my own cell phone a few weeks or months later.

I remember riding in the car from Jennie’s house back to the high school, and on the radio they announced the Pentagon was hit and that was when I thought, “OK, shit is going down.”

In the weeks or months afterwards, I can remember listening to a remake of Marvin Gaye’s “What’s going on?” song wherein a lot of popular singers at the time participated. It was some U2/Bono nightmare, but, for me, turned in to something else for 9/11.

Also in the months after, I remember reading EVERY MAGAZINE out there regarding that day and reading survivor stories. Woof.

I remember my high school had a blood drive and I found out my blood type is B+.

I can also recall stories about people who didn’t make it to work that day or who were running late in the first place. Eerie shit for sure.

I can recall seeing an email chain with pictures from around the world of people holding American flags or candles or flowers and being so moved by others’ solidarity with us.

I can say that I didn’t see any of the planes hit the building live, nor did I see the collapse live. For these things I remain grateful. Pardon if that’s bragging…

In the years after, I remember seeing a news special on all the rescue dogs from 9/11 and how much they had aged with their cute lil grey furry faces.

What a fucking day.